From the Forums: Bridal Showers and Bachelorettes

One thing I see brides confused about on the forums is who is responsible for the bridal shower and the bachelorette party and how can they give their input without coming across as being pushy or demanding.  So here’s the run down girls!

Bridal Showers

Traditionally, this is a party thrown by the bridesmaids to “shower” the bride with gifts for her new home.  However, any female relative may decide to throw a bridal shower, and it is not uncommon for a bride to have more than one bridal shower if she has people that are in distinct areas of her life (ie family, friends from work and other friends).  It is typically held one to one and a half  months before the wedding.  Most women know about bridal showers and that if they are in a bridal party or a close family member is getting married to expect to be part of the planning process.  Sometimes, however, if a bride is particularly young or has particularly young bridal party members, it may not be as obvious to the bridesmaids.

If you are getting married in the next few months and no one has approached you about a bridal shower, it would be ok to mention it to your sister or best friend.  However, do it delicately.  Never go around complaining that no one cares about your wedding, no one is even throwing you a party, poor me, poor me.  And don’t talk to everyone about it.  If you just start talking about it all the time, it comes off as needy and demanding.

Bachelorette Parties

This is a party just for the friends of the bride held in the last month before the wedding.  Usually, this party is organized by the maid of honor or a sister of the bride.  It should be a fun night out with the girls and should match the personality of the bride.  Because bachelorette’s are a newer tradition, there are not as many set rules.

However, what is important is that everyone involved is comfortable with the activities.  If the bride is not into Chippendale type shows, please don’t force it upon her!  And really, that is true for her friends as well.  Trust me, it won’t be “all in good fun” if you have people there that are not having a good time.  Rent a limo and do a pub crawl or wine tastings, have a girl’s night in and watch girly movies, hit the clubs or make it a weekend at the beach.  The point is to have a good time and celebrate friendship.

Gifts are not required at a bachelorette, but if you do decide to do gifts, it might be fun to do a lingerie party or something along those lines.  Finally, this is NOT a party to invite mom to.  However close the bride is to her mom or however laid back the mom is, bachelorette parties should really just be for girls in the bride’s own age group.

For more information on bachelorette parties, read my tips in this article.

The engagement period should be a very special time for the bride.  The showers and parties are a wonderful way to take away the stress of planning a wedding and celebrate the love and friendships that have surrounded her.  Enjoy!

By Heather Brandon of Agape Weddings in Bakersfield, CA