From the Forums: Say No to the Dress? Wedding Dress Regrets.
In a recent survey I sent out, about 75% of brides shopped for their wedding dress first. (Click here to take my survey if you are engaged or married in the past year!) That same survey showed the majority of brides have engagements of 1-1 1/2 years. So, what we end up seeing are brides that go wedding dress shopping as soon as they are engaged and then as the months go by, they are less and less in love with that perfect dress. Styles change, gorgeous new dresses come out, friends get married in beautiful styles and brides start to regret their choice.
On bridal forums, I am constantly seeing brides say, “Help! I bought a non-refundable dress and I don’t like it anymore!” Even in my relatively short engagement (8 months), I started to regret my choice. Is there a solution to this problem? Yes, and no. Some people may say to wait until later to shop, but I don’t think that’s the answer either because it takes time for the salons to order the dress, get alterations, etc, etc. Plus, design tends to revolve around the style of the dress.
First of all, don’t feel pressured to buy right away. Look through magazine and see which designers and styles you are drawn to before you ever step foot in a bridal salon. Carefully consider your budget and do some research. Think about the overall style of your wedding and where you want to be married. I’ve seen girls thrilled with their beautiful princess style dresses only to decide they want to get married on the beach and change their mind entirely. Once you have that vision in your head, go ahead and start shopping.
Once you decide to start shopping, shop with a purpose. Try on lots of different styles and designers and find out what looks good on your body. Talk to your consultants about your vision and listen to their suggestions. They see dresses on a lot of brides and may have an idea that is different from what you expected. When you go shopping, I suggest taking more than 3 people: your mom, your maid-of-honor and maybe one other married friend or relative. Do not take an entire entourage! It is difficult enough to find the perfect dress without 20 differing opionions. You will spend half your time trying to justify your choices and trying to please everyone. Besides, it is disrespectful to the shop and distracting to other shoppers.
When you find that perfect dress, be content! The biggest problem for brides is that they are so imersed in wedding world, that they keep shopping even after they have stuff. Since we have a tendency to go through life at the same rate as our friends, it is likely that you will be to at least one wedding during your engagement (sometimes many many more). It is important to remember that your wedding is your wedding, not your friends’ wedding. It can be hard not to look at her beautiful centerpieces and think, “Oh, I wish I was doing that!” Or see the great DJ and think, “I wonder if my DJ is this good.” And of course, to look at the stunning bride and think, “Did I get the right dress??? Hers is so pretty!” Remember why you chose that dress to begin with – it was the one that made your mother cry, made you feel beautiful and made you feel . . . like a bride.
Will dress regret ever go away? Probably not. Just remember what your day is all about, and be happy.
By Heather Brandon of Agape Weddings in Bakersfield, CA
